ayayayayaayaya...

oh man. today was. a day. nothing special.
yeah. it pretty much sucked.
i now feel. like the rest of my summer might suck.
haha. no. it won't. i mean. i'm in control right? i can't let that happen. not over..

a stupid reason.




haha. this morning. was okay i guess. last day of tennis camp for the little kids. next week..is for the more advanced players. that's gonna be nifty. there's the ball machine.. ^-^

however. the day turned crappy. after that. meeting/"interview" with the guy who hires people at Regency. T_T
he told me i was too young. T_T i don't like the way he said it. for some reason. it didn't feel like that's what he really wanted to say. like he was just telling me some lie. just to not let me work now. it just makes me sad. that they tell me... "oh...you can work...if your 16..." and then. the guy says no. man. and i thought i was going to take my own advice... not to listen to what anyone else said...in relation to getting my hopes up...

now. that's my outlook for the other jobs i applied for.

i'm too young.

HOWEVER. i can't give up yet.

NO. i can't. i will get a job.

maybe i'll apply when i turn 17. haha. maybe i'll get an even BETTER job than that one. better paying too. i'll be able to drive and everything. who needs that?

and maybe. i'll be over that stupid person. so who cares. i can always work at a restaurant. even though there won't be nifty weddings and banquets... psssh.

i want to beat myself up.

GOSH DARN IT.

i keep freaking crying.

this is so pathetic. and my eyes. are so sore from rubbing them. grrrrr.

WHY AM I SO ... WEAK. i hate being weak. damn it. damn it.

yes. its apart of life. but. gosh. so is wanting to whine about it.


time.


hopefully. i'll get over it.

but. this is such a weird feeling. its not normal. i can't control it. its completely out of control. i feel helpless. and. stupid. and weak. and everything i hate. all over something so stupid. afja;fj;fkljadk


i feel. like everything's upside down. i don't like it.

wow. my eyes. really. really burn. o.o damn paper towels...

oh wow. haha. thinking about so many things. i feel like an idiot. wasting my time on this stupid thing. my life should be moving forward. i don't have a lot of time to live. i mean. life's so short. i should be using it... more wisely. aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i need direction. T_T

but. ugh. gosh.

oh wow. listening to this one song has cheered me up.

i think i'll go to sleep while i still can.